


Last Resort

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Creepy Steve Rogers, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Female Tony Stark, Gratuitous Amount of Slurring, Happy Ending, Infertility, Jealous Steve Rogers, Masturbation, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Not Well-Meaning Steve Rogers, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Oblivious Tony Stark, One-Sided Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Out of Character, Possessive Steve Rogers, Pregnancy, Pregnant Tony Stark, Steve Rogers is a dick, Steve Rogers-centric, Steve fantasizes, Unreliable Narrator, We're Living Like It's 2012 Y'all, Well-Meaning Bucky Barnes, Which is basically, infertility scare, more specifically - Freeform, no actual abortion, not team Cap friendly, or Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-03 03:38:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17276381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "'Oh don't be so sure. What is it? Clint put glue in your cereal?' Steve prodded. He poked Bucky in the shoulder. 'Bruce's pot smell too strong? Natasha threaten you again?'To everything, a shake of the head. Finally, to the thing, Steve really wanted to know.'There trouble in paradise?' Steve asked, trying to hide his eagerness.Bucky tensed further.Bingo."Uncertainty breeds opportunity





	1. Uncertainty breeds opportunity

**Author's Note:**

> Came to me in a dream, I apologize for any discomfort (due to out of character-ness and misogyny ((at least I feel like it's misogyny, I hate that I wrote this but God it's interesting)))

“Somethin’ on your mind, pal?” Steve grunted as he hit the mat.

 

“It's nothing,” Bucky replied gruffly.

 

Steve hefted himself back up, wincing when his side is a little more than sore.

 

“Sure feels like a whole lot of nothing,”

 

Bucky grimaced, “Nothin’ you can help anyway.”

 

“Oh don't be so sure. What is it? Clint put glue in your cereal?” Steve prodded. He poked Bucky in the shoulder. “Bruce's pot smell too strong? Natasha threaten you again?”

 

To everything, a shake of the head. Finally, to the thing, Steve really wanted to know.

 

“There trouble in paradise?” Steve asked, trying to hide his eagerness.

 

Bucky tensed further.

 

Bingo.

 

“What's going on?” Steve asked sympathetically.

 

Bucky looked more broody than usual.

 

“Aw, Buck..”

 

Bucky mumbled something under his breath.

 

“What?”

 

“I…-” Bucky coughed. “-Toni wants a baby.”

 

Steve felt his heart shatter. Sure Bucky and Toni were together, yet Steve couldn't help but hope...But a baby? Bucky kept talking but Steve had a hard time not punching Bucky in the throat.

 

Which wasn't fair. It wasn't Bucky's fault that Toni liked him back.

 

_But Steve knew her first--_

 

“Sorry Buck, I don't think I heard right...a baby?" Bucky nodded. "Are you guys ready for that?” Steve masked his desperation with concern.

 

Bucky's face twisted up even more, he's was looking more and more frustrated as the seconds ticked by.

 

“Of course we’re ready! I really want one too! I can give something to the person who has everything! But…”

 

“What is it?”

 

“It's…oh don't make me say it again.”

 

“I really don't understand?”

 

“I...I haven't been tested but, well we’ve been trying for months! And, sure, it's not a strain on me and Toni's relationship but I'm worried. What if my...swimmers aren't,” Bucky's face was red with embarrassment. “What if I'm shooting blanks?”

 

“Bucky, I'm sure it's not…”

 

“We've been tryin’ for months, Stevie--”

 

“Well, that doesn't mean!”

 

“--And she really deserves a baby! She'd love it as much, no, more, than me or JARVIS combined and I can just imagine! She'd be so beautiful and I would love that baby so much but what if I can't make that happen?!”

 

“Then she'll love you just the same!”

 

“But she deserves more.”  

 

Steve couldn't help but agree.

 

“I dunno how I can help you.”

 

“Me either,” Bucky sighed.

 

He looked so resigned. Steve patted Bucky consolingly on the shoulder. Moments passed, the gym was oddly quiet. When suddenly -

 

“I got it!” Bucky exclaimed.

 

Steve nearly jumped out of his skin.

 

“Course adoption’s an option but if -- maybe we could get a donor? Hell maybe -” Bucky looked even more excited. “-maybe you could be our donor! I mean, we both trust you! And this way there's no chance some idiot tries usin’ the kid as a way to get money outta her!”

 

“Uh Buck--”

 

“So then we got a kid and, I'm not saying I'm gonna tell her this  because I know it’d be awkward for you--” The opposite actually. “-- but if it comes to that and she comes up with it herself, and asks you, well! Problem solved! Me and Toni got a kid!”

 

“Buck…” Steve didn't know what to say.

 

“Unless that's too much for you, that's okay-”

 

“No no! That's fine!” Steve squeaked.

 

Bucky blinked at him.

 

“Alright then!” Bucky perked up again.

 

Steve didn't know when Bucky left the gym. It didn't matter, what mattered were all the worries Steve was left with.

 

Would the baby inherit his pre-serum genes? Would it be sick? Who would it look like?

 

And more guiltily Steve thought how easy it would be to get Toni, maybe she'd fall for him during the pregnancy?

 

If Bucky (as much as Steve had faith in him) wasn't good to Toni while she was hormone ridden? Maybe Steve could--

 

Nope.

 

He couldn't think about that.

 

It wasn't as if it was a done deal anyways.


	2. Frozen to the bone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I--” they both started at the same time.
> 
> Looked at each other and giggled.
> 
> Giggled of all things.
> 
> “Well,” Toni started. “I -- we have something to tell you!”

Steve thought about Toni a lot. It wasn't new. Ever since he first saw her he was stunned.

 

She was witty, she was gorgeous even if he hadn't said as much.

 

Yeah, he'd put his foot in his mouth for sure.

 

Despite that, He and Toni were close. Not as close as Steve would have preferred but, it was as it was.

 

Still, Steve thought about her. More so recently, if that even possible.

 

His conversation with Bucky skulked around Steve's brain, an odd fantasy.

 

And while Bucky was his best friend by all means Steve was an _opportunist_. It didn't mean anything malicious but, if Steve were to have the chance to get Toni?

He was taking it.

He thought about what could happen? Worried over it, waited anxiously to see what would happen.

 

Although, now? Steve was worried about Toni. She had missed a few missions, she was sick, throwing up and the like. He'd tried to help her by making soup to calm her stomach but it just seems to irritate it.

 

Steve hoped she wasn't coming down with something serious.

 

“You would tell me if something was wrong, right?” Steve asked Toni anxiously.

 

“Hey, it's nothing Capsicle,” Toni replied easily. “Is it just me or is that a hint of concern?”

 

She sounded hoarse and looked awful.

 

“Oh shush.”

 

Then, after a few weeks, Toni seemed to get better, she looked healthier, almost like she was glowing.

 

Still, she didn't go back on duty.

 

“S’just really important projects Cap, can't miss them!” Toni chirped.

 

Notably without coffee in sight.

 

Odd.

 

Still, Steve couldn't complain.

 

He was glad she was feeling better.

 

Bucky looked even better come to think of it. Always hovered around Toni though, asking if she needed help carrying heavy things and the like which everyone knew was the worst move one could make around one Toni Stark.

 

Even weirder was she didn't chew Bucky out for it. Aside from the nasty looks.

 

It was close to five months after The Talk that Steve was cornered.

 

Well, cornered wasn't the right word for it but it sure felt like it.

 

Steve gave the reinforced punching bag a break.

 

“What's going on guys?” Steve asked innocuously, if a tad to anticipatory.

 

He was _teeming_ with excitement.

 

This was _it_.

 

Toni looked like she was about to vibrate out of her skin, Bucky was grinning like a loon.

 

“I--” they both started at the same time.

 

Looked at each other and giggled.

 

Giggled of all things.

 

“Well,” Toni started. “I -- we have something to tell you!”

 

“Toni's pregnant!” Bucky exclaimed.

 

Steve went cold.

 

“James!” Toni chided, smiling all the same.

 

“You are?” Steve tried to not croak.

 

“Yes! And you’re the...second…no third -- wait, wait -- fourth! You are the fourth to know! Isn't that great?”

 

“Oh wow,” Steve breathed.

 

“Stevie are you okay?” Bucky asked.

 

No, no he wasn't.

 

“Yeah...just surprised is all.”

 

Bucky caught on to what Steve was referring to. Gave him a sheepish smile.

 

“Surprised? Why’s that?” Toni asked obliviously.

 

“Just didn't think you were the parenting type, Shellhead!” Steve pasted on a smile.

 

“Please! I am _very_ family orientated! I don't know what you’re talking about!”

 

“Why am I only the _fourth_ to know?” Steve teased.

 

“Oh well first I had to tell James, then Rhodey, and most importantly Pepper! She'd skin me if she was the last to know!” Toni sighed dramatically.

 

God, she was beautiful.

 

“How long have you guys known?” Steve tried for excitement.

 

Toni scuffed her shoes’ sole on the floor, refusing to make eye contact.

 

“Three months…?” Bucky answered.

 

“Three months?!”

 

Why would they wait so long? Why get Steve's hopes up?

 

“Yeah…” Toni admitted hesitantly.

 

“ _‘Yeah’_ ? That's what you have to say? Wait -- wait _that's_ why you let Buck baby you isn't it?!”

 

They laughed. They talked about baby names, how everybody else was going to react.

 

Steve just froze on the inside.


	3. Soundproofed Walls For The Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stared at the ceiling, couldn't hear the movie playing in the next room.
> 
> Thank God for soundproofing.
> 
> Probably even better for when they--
> 
> Nope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of self help, but not really.

Bucky's hovering became more than obnoxious. There were little to no chances to get Toni alone anymore. Even then, Natasha started hovering too, much to Toni and Steve's distaste.

Steve would say he barely saw Toni at all, but that would be a lie. For one, they lived in the same place. Secondly, movie nights still happened. Still, that wasn't time for chat and Toni cuddled with Bucky on the loveseat anyway, Bucky's metal hand cupping the swell of Toni’s stomach protectively. Steve couldn't concentrate on the movies, just on her and the way the lights from the TV cast shadows on her face.

They spoke but it was mostly about the baby or about Bucky, both topics Steve almost couldn't care less about.

“--And James has been reading to her every night!” Steve could feel his temper rise. He should be the one.  
“--Isn't that sweet? I mean, I told him she can't hear him at this point. You would not believe the sad look on his face! I felt so bad, so I said ‘I mean it's the thought that counts’ and it wasn't as if I wanted him to stop in the first place! He's just so perfect!”

One of those things stood out…

“‘She’?” Steve asked, fiddling with the straw of his drink.

“Well I don't know, but you see it's as if I can feel it! And she's a part of me so why wouldn't I know?”

Steve chuckled a bit, “Fair point, fair point.”

If Steve hadn't been such chickenshit he could've been the one at Toni's side, could be happy right now, not jealous of his own best friend.

“And can you believe that my Winter Wonderland thinks otherwise? We've put money in two jars. Which is probably a bad thing, betting on your own kid’s sex? Awful! But it's so fun! And he’s started knitting a little hat for her! He's just--”

“--Perfect. I know,” Steve snapped impatiently.

And then regretted it. Fuck, he didn't mean to do that! Toni of course, looked wounded.

“Ah fu- frick! I'm sorry Toni!” Steve tried to apologize.

“No no, I get it… I’m getting repetitive,” Toni shrugged it off glumly.

Why did he do that?

“You know, I think I'm going to go,” Toni moved to get up.

“Please stay Toni, I’m sorry I snapped! I just haven't been sleeping well lately,” not a lie.

He just stared at the ceiling for hours on end, fantasizing.

“How about you tell me about the nursery?” Steve tried.

“If you're sure…” Toni said.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I personally want the walls to be red, but then again if it was hot rod it could be to bold and bright for her. James said purple, but I think it might be too dark so we’re at a standstill,” Toni dove back in.

“Why don't I paint the walls?” Steve found himself saying. “I could do an animal mural? Something soft?”

“Are you sure?” Toni asked nervously. “You don't have to--”

“No no! I offered didn't I?” Steve replied lightly.

“Oh thank God, you are a lifesaver, Steve!” Toni claimed.

Toni then went into her projects, or what she could do with them at least. Toni had locked herself out, the fumes were apparently bad for the baby. That didn't mean she still didn't use her StarkPad for schematics though.

Toni was just getting further into an upgrade for BARF when Bucky called her.

“Toni?”

“Oh, in the living room!” Toni called back.

He was there in a flash.

“Whatcha doin’?” Bucky asked innocently.

But he eyed Steve suspiciously. What did that mean.

“Oh just talking about BARF--”  
Bucky looked at Toni incredulously. She rolled her eyes and continued.  
“--I'm just stuck on how to make it widely available? It has to be affordable but the materials that go into it are just expensive! I was thinking if I could figure out a way to synthesize cheaper but effective materials it could lower the price! Or maybe I should just make them available at community centres?”

“Maybe community centres would be better? Then they wouldn't have to buy it in the first place?” Bucky suggested.

Toni clapped her hands together.

“Perfect! Thank you so much Bucky Bear! Now, what do you need me for?”

“I was watching this one movie and I don't really understand this one part? I've replayed it a few times but I dunno…”

“Oh that's fine,” Toni stood up unsteadily, Bucky raced to support her.

“Toni are you okay?” Both super soldiers asked, very panicked.

Toni gave them both tired looks.

“Just stood up too fast, I forgot how weird you guys are,” she complained.

“Just care about how you’re doin’, doll.”

“Oh don't try that with me,” Toni teased, tugging Bucky down for a kiss.

Steve tamped down everything he was feeling.

It was stupid, it was just a kiss. But it was more than that! And--

“I guess we’ll just have to talk later, Cap!” Toni said.

Oh.

They were leaving.

Right.

“See ya!” Steve replied.

It was difficult to concentrate after that, so Steve went to his room.

Right next to theirs.

He stared at the ceiling, couldn't hear the movie playing in the next room.

Thank God for soundproofing.

Probably even better for when they--

Nope.

But Steve couldn't help but imagine. If he just knew what Toni sounded like when she moaned.

What she felt like. Would she be all soft or was she all angles? How hot would it be between her legs?

Steve can just see it, almost feel it. He hands in his hair tugging as he went to town on her.

How would they fuck? Missionary? Would she ride him? How hard would they go? He takes his cock in his hand, starts tugging.

She would sound out of breath as she bounced on Steve's lap, his hands would be on her hips leaving bruises.

Her saying his name. Toni screaming his name as they both--

He came.

He didn't take the time to get rid of his shirt. Cum stained it and his jeans.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

Steve felt his face heat up and it wasn't from the afterglow.

What could he do?

What did he _have_ to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Bucky's catching onto Something, what is it?


	4. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have a craving, couldn't ignore it. James is doing a grocery run while I waste away.”
> 
> “Sounds like fun.”
> 
> “The craving part or having someone willingly do my bidding?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: implied character death (it's fake)

Steve didn't go to dinner, super soldier metabolism notwithstanding. Instead, he stripped off his soiled clothes and passed out. He dreamt.

_The hospital walls were bleak, monitors beeped. The cries of patients and orders of doctors alike blurred. Steve was nervous but he didn't know why. Why was he there? The seat was hard, uncomfortable plastic, the door was a darker grey, it had chips in its paint. A harried nurse scurried out:_

_“It's a delicate situation, Mr.Rogers. You must understand, it's a turning point to tell whether she lives or dies,” the nurse said with wide honest eyes._

_“Why are you telling me this? What ‘turning point’? Why am I not allowed in there?” Steve demanded._

_Why did he say that? Who was she?_

_“You know this already, it will only stress her more than necessary! We have to make a choice on whether she or the baby lives!”_

_“Why don't you ask her that?” Steve said, horrified._

_“I-- well, it's not as if you're the deciding factor! It's just, I'd rather not be strangled!” the nurse sputtered._

_“Go!”_

_And he did, the door slammed shut and Steve found himself staring at it again. The closed door was like Schrödinger's cat, was she dead or alive?_

_He heard a sudden cry of an infant._

He woke up in a cold sweat.

He felt like he was about to vibrate out of his skin.

What an awful nightmare.

It made no sense at all.

Steve knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again.

The kitchen was a good place as any.

To Steve's surprise, the kitchen wasn't empty.

Toni was slumped against the kitchen’s island, a hand on her face to keep her upright in her seat.

“What are you doing up?” Steve asked.

Toni jolted and almost fell out of her seat.

“Christ’s sake you almost gave me a heart attack!” Toni exclaimed.

“Sorry, was just curious.”

“I need to get you a bell, actually I need to get James and Tasha a bell! Do you know how silent you are?” Toni grumbled.

“As a mouse,” Steve replied.

Milk would be a good idea, yup.

“You still didn't answer my question,” Steve pointed out, milk acquired.

“Have a craving, couldn't ignore it. James is doing a grocery run while I waste away.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“The craving part or having someone willingly do my bidding?”

“Second part, first sounds like too much energy.”

“Amen to that.”

It was quiet, Steve drank his milk in almost silence.

“Did you know that being pregnant apparently increases my sex drive?” Toni mentioned lightly.

Steve snorted, then choked.

“Beg your pardon?” He asked, face completely red. 

_Why was she mentioning it? Was it a proposition? Oh god what if it was a thing for a threesome-_

“It sounds impossible, I know, and it's not like that's happened yet, cause all I'm feeling is gross and achy so far. But apparently, that's going to be a benefit?”

“Why d’you think it was a good idea to mention this to me?”

“I dunno, Natasha isn't here and James already knows. Just felt like I needed to say it to someone. Also, that was hilarious. But for the most part, it just popped into my head.”

“I could have died Toni!”

“Please, ‘Death by Milk’, I think you're too stubborn to have that be on your gravestone.”

Not wrong, not wrong at all.

“It still stings though,” Steve whined.

“What does?” Bucky asked curiously, ice cream and saltine crackers (?) in arms.

“His nose! Oh! Is that the stuff? Gimme!” Toni explained.

Bucky gave Toni a kiss to the top of her head but held the food out of her reach when she grabbed for it.

“Nuh uh, not until you tell me why!”

“That's playing dirty!” Toni complained.

“Oh, I always play dirty, doll.”

Steve groaned, awful, the both of them, making him suffer like this.

Toni petulantly huffed, which was too adorable, then said in the most nonchalant tone.

“I mentioned the sex thing.”

Bucky's eyes went wide, Steve started remembering what he was thinking about just hours before. Bucky made eye contact.

Steve was so fucked.

“Oh my God, do not get jealous over that.”

Toni, Steve’s saviour.

“You can't just say things like that!”

“It was about the sex drive thing! I thought it was a fun fact!”

“Not when--” Bucky cut himself off.

Took a breath, let it out.

He knew, oh fuck.

“Not when what?” Toni prodded.

“Not when Steve is such a prude about that sort of thing!” Bucky replied with forced cheer. “Right Stevie?”

“Yup!” Steve found himself squeaking.

Toni accepted that easily, giggling about some sort of joke she'd made a while back coming true. Bucky surrendered the food, but the way he kept giving Steve sharp looks meant he was in trouble.

It wasn't over.


	5. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know what you’re doin,’” Bucky stated lowly.
> 
> He didn't sound quite like the Winter Soldier but he sure as hell looked like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hwoop there it is
> 
> EDIT: check the endnotes

“What's that?” FRIDAY asked curiously, Steve nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Ahm...It's just ‘bath bombs’ they looked cool?” Steve replied nervously, passing the wrapped present from one hand to the other.

“For you?”

“Oh, no actually they’re for Toni?”

“Boss is in the common room, why are you going in the opposite direction?”

Steve could tell the back of his neck was pink.

“Could I leave it as a present? Maybe if you could unlock Toni's apartment door-”

“Everyone but Sergeant Barnes and Boss herself have authorization.”

“-But FRIDAY I want it to be a surprise! She'll like it I swear! Don't you think you could bend the rules? Just once?” Steve pleaded.

“She'll like it? For sure?” FRIDAY asked hopefully.

“I promise!”

“I suppose...just this once!”

“Thank you FRIDAY!”

“Anything to make Boss happy.”

Steve couldn't help but smile the rest of the way. The door opened easily and he put the present at the foot of the bed, the comforter was so thick the package didn't even leave an impression. Job done (and hopefully appreciated) Steve turned around only to lock eyes with a murderous Bucky.

“I know what you’re doin,’” Bucky stated lowly.

He didn't sound quite like the Winter Soldier but he sure as hell looked like it.

Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“Buck I dunno what you’re talkin’ about,” Steve tried to sound oblivious but guilt still wormed its way into his voice.

“Oh, I fuckin’ know you, punk. Don't think I can't tell when you -- You were so eager to help, I tried to tell myself that ‘it wasn't like that’, ‘you were jus’ trying to be a good friend’--”

“Buck! It's like that! I just wanted to--”

  
“--Oh don't you even try! As soon as you found out about the baby well… You don't look at Toni and me the same way, you don't watch the movies you just watch her face and, and you look so pissed off whenever someone brings up the baby..Or even brings me up. Hell, if you see us even talking to each other you get this pinched look!”

Fucking hell, Steve had no idea.

“I don’t--!” Steve tried to interject.

“Oh piss off! I've seen that look on your face before, but newsflash! She doesn’t like you like that! You had your chance! But I'm hers and she's mine!” Bucky snarled, his face drawn tight, “She...she's mine, get me?”

“Oh I think he gets it alright.”  
  
Bucky whirled around, surprised but relieved to see Toni in the doorway. She was going to kick Steve out, he was never going to see her again she--

“James, I...what type of, ‘she's mine’? What kinda…” Toni looked insulted.

Why would she--

Wait.

Wait, did she only--

“Doll, how long’ve you been standing there?” Bucky asked nervously.

“Long enough you possessive dick.”

“Toni--”

“Don't ‘Toni’ me! What kinda shit are you trying to pull?! Steve's your best friend for Pete’s sake! You know he wouldn't--”

Oh.

“You don't understand!”

“Oh, I think I understand plenty!” Toni made eye contact, “Steve, I am so sorry about whatever James said to you --” she gave Bucky a short look when he began to protest, “-- and James?”

“Yeah?”

“You're on the couch tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking next chapter would be Steve's POV then the one after would be Bucky's? Last chapter would be an Epilogue.


	6. Smug and as Yellow as a Canary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: mention of possible abortion

Dinner was awkward, for once Bucky and Toni were _not_ attached at the hip. The tension was rising, whenever Bucky and Toni made eye contact her chilled demeanour had Bucky looking like a kicked dog. The way Toni was unnaturally quiet made it all too obvious something happened, however, nobody brought it up, a little cautious when it came to Toni. Everybody was absolutely miserable. But Steve felt perfectly fine, internally gleeful if he was being honest.

 

The small mutterings back and forth, “let me just explain,” and “give me time” were even _greater._

 

Their argument, the possibility that they might break up? It was something that Steve hadn't planned to happen this way. A slower one where Bucky might've been less hurt? Perhaps. But it was as it was and Steve _was winning_.

 

Although it would be awkward for the kid if they lived that long.

 

Steve had to wonder if it was too late for an abortion.

 

It wasn't as if he wouldn't raise any kid of his best friend’s as his own but, well, it certainly would uncomplicate things further.

 

What if Bucky hated Toni because of it?

 

That would be _even better_.

 

She would be hurt, Steve would be a shoulder to cry on and, well so on and so forth.

 

When he fell asleep he had an actual game plan.

 

It wouldn't be long now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so small and short, it's just cause the next one's longer


	7. Team Ex-Assassins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Which inci-- Gym recordings are private!”
> 
> “And the Pentagon has the best security measures in the whole world.”
> 
> “Okay, fair point. I still -- it’s personal.”
> 
> “Do you want to show your girlfriend how much a creepy your best friend is?”
> 
> James blew out a breath.
> 
> “Yes.”

“Fri, you recorded the incident didn’t you?” James asked the ceiling, the arm of the couch was uncomfortable against his neck.

 

“Of course Sergeant Barnes.”

 

He couldn’t help but feel relieved.

 

“D’you think Toni’s cooled enough to talk to me?”

 

“I would suggest putting on a film.”

 

So no then. Damn. Of all the times she could have walked in on him. James felt guilty as all hell though, he just wanted to _resolve_ the issue before Toni had to get stressed about it.

 

In all honesty, Steve and Toni were _good friends_ , if only Steve wasn’t being an absolute creep. Still, what was even more worrying was what footage was present. Not much, James had a moment to feel insecure, maybe he was being too clingy.

 

Worst came to worst, Toni would see the entire encounter, James would apologize and he’d just have another thing to discuss with his therapist. They’d be able to work through it.

 

“I’m not just imagining things am I?” he couldn’t help but ask the AI.

“I...No, I have had my suspicions as well as Ms.Romanov.”

 

“Why did you let him in me and Toni's room then?”

 

“I was hoping the encounter would confirm my suspicions in blatant light, I am sorry that it did not turn out that way.”

 

“Hey no, it would’ve happened sooner or later, I just wish that...It just got messy.”

 

“That is one word for it.”

 

“Is Tasha still up?”

 

If it was true that Natasha was thinking the same thing as James, it would definitely win Toni over.

 

“I do believe so. She is in Mr.Barton’s room discussing the latest episode of ‘Dog Cops’.”

 

“Perfect, could you let her know that I’m coming?”

 

“She already knows.”

 

“Great.”    

 

James didn’t even need to knock, Natasha was waiting in the hallway.

 

“You want my help making up with Toni?” she asked unprompted.

 

“Yes fucking please.”

 

“Thank God, I knew you weren’t getting dull in your old age.”

 

“You’re an asshole.”

 

“And about to save your ‘marriage’.”

 

“How do you want to play this?”

 

“What evidence do we have?”

 

“Aside from recordings? Zilch.”

 

Natasha blew a stray hair out of her face, “Optimal circumstances, as per always.”

 

“C’mon Tasha.”

 

“Look, the recording of what I’m assuming is Steve and your’s confrontation will help with pining down points we could use. A little clip here, a little clip there to prove your point.”

 

“But she was there, wouldn’t Toni have picked up on it?”

 

“Well, you are adding context. Anything else I can confirm. Not to mention a certain incident which booted off Steve’s creepfest.”

 

“Which inci-- Gym recordings are private!”

 

“And the Pentagon has the best security measures in the whole world.”

 

“Okay, fair point. I still -- it’s personal.”

 

“Do you want to show your girlfriend how much a creepy your best friend is?”

 

James blew out a breath.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Thank God, cause I cannot stand any more of this pussyfooting shit.”

 

“How long have you been holding onto that?”  

 

“As soon as the _swear jar_ became a thing for the babies’ sake.”

 

“I -- okay? Wait do you mean ‘baby’s’ as in singular or--”

 

“Time is of the essence!”

 

“Natasha?! What the fuck?!”


	8. Booted And Burnt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disheveled, beautiful, alive, and absolutely furious, Toni glared at Steve from the foot of his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue why it took me forever to write this

_The baby in Steve’s arms looked oddly familiar. Not in the way the baby looked like him, wisps of blond hair making that evident, but the kid’s other parent._

_Her name was on the tip of his tongue but he just couldn't say it._

_The baby, Ian, his name’s Ian, also coughed a lot. He didn't have that healthy flush that most infants did, it made Steve nervous._

_He was alone in his apartment with a baby he didn’t know how to raise or help. Steve tried his best to comfort his son by keeping him closer, making sure he wouldn't choke on his spit by keeping him vertical against his chest, talked to him in a low voice._

_“That sounded like it hurt bud, s’okay it'll pass.”_

_Steve wasn't willing to admit how scared he was._

_“How about a bottle it might soothe your throat?”_

_He couldn't find a phone anywhere to ask for help._

_Ian cried, Steve tried burping Ian, laying him down for a nap, checked his diaper, but nothing. Maybe he was missing his mom?_

_“I know it's hard, I miss her too,” that felt true._

_Ian sobbed and wailed until all that was left were hiccups._

_Then the phone started ringing, it startled Steve.It sounded like it was coming from the bedroom_ , _maybe he should--_

_The door opened easily, but a photo on Steve’s dresser caught his attention._

_“Toni?!”_

_He jolted awake._

Disheveled, beautiful, alive, and absolutely furious, Toni glared at Steve from the foot of his bed.

“What -- what happened?” Steve asked.

“Get out of my home,” Toni growled.

“What?”

No, no, no, what in the world--?

“Get the fuck out, Rogers. I mean it,” she threatened, an activated gauntlet raised.

What had he done?

Steve caught sight of Bucky in the doorway as he scrambled to his feet.

No, what had _Bucky_ done?

“I swear, whatever he told you, it isn't true!” Steve pleaded.

“Oh, fucking bull! I can't believe -- I thought you were my friend!”

Was it some sort of conditioned response for Steve's heart to sink whenever she said friend?

“Of course I am, I--”

“You have two minutes, fucking -- get out!” She screamed.

“Woah Toni--”

She whipped around to face Bucky.

“Let me have this.”

“Just-- be careful, babe.”

Fucking disgusting. Even when Toni was pissed at Steve he still couldn't hold her attention. Bucky tripped him on the way out.

“What do you expect me to do? I have nothing!” Steve tried appealing to the genius’ soft side.

“I'm sure you could figure something out, sign posters and the like. Find people who get off on your…” Toni trailed off, apparently at a loss for words.

“You can't expect me to--”

“Yeah, that's the gist.”

“You aren't letting me--”

“I know enough now.”

“You can't replace me! I'm an _Avenger_ , your best--”

“The door’s right in front of you.”

Steve took a frustrated breath.

“You’ll regret this.”

“Is that a threat?”

The gauntlet whined as it--

“No, no, no--”

Steve's back burned like hell, the door under him from the force. Tears stung his eyes.

“Toni…”

“Don't make me fire again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want I could always add another chapter wth Toni and the babies? And also, just because I don't read the captain America comics does not mean i did not just binge Steve's wiki page for a reference.


	9. Family Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to a lovely comment, here is a short lil' epilogue, some of which is very influenced by some stuff I've seen on tumblr recently.

RJ was the fussiest baby alive, as far as James was concerned. He was put down no more than five minutes ago but, the baby monitor burst to life, startling James out of his book. RJ's face was all scrunched up and rosy, not much of a contrast to his black downy hair.

“What's got you up?” James asked in a voice he would not admit to using for as long as he lived.

The baby didn't answer aside from squirming in his little onesie as James scooped him up. The diaper was dry, Toni fed RJ half an hour ago, so:

“I guess you just wanted attention, hm?”

RJ cooed happily as James rubbed his bristly cheek against RJ’s chubby one like an overgrown cat.

“How bout we go see your mama? I bet you can sleep in our bed for tonight.”

Even if Toni protested James knew she loved having RJ nearby and safe. It was hard to maneuver the door open with both hands occupied and a curious baby's hands in James’ hair, but it was doable.

The hallway lights were dimmed, making it comfortable to the sleepy eye, but unpleasant when James knocked into a table. A picture fell, the sound muffled by the carpet. He caught sight of the photograph, Toni, Bucky and Steve--

James wouldn't admit how nervous he was that Steve was still out there. Sure, kicking him out like that sounded right and felt great at the time but, now James didn't know where he was. If he was planning something, he could ask Toni, she was probably keeping tabs--

A tiny fist yanked on his hair.

“H’okay champ, we’re goin’.”

RJ giggled at him and James couldn't help but smile back.

“Yeah, you’re the reason your mama wants me to cut my hair.”

RJ ‘ooohed’.

“Uh huh, less fun for you kiddo.”

James shouldered the bedroom door open.

“What took you so long?” Toni groaned.

RJ immediately began squirming again, making high little noises.

“Why did you bring your demon spawn?” Toni half-heartedly asked, too tired to put any real effort into a face.

“Hey, if I'm remembering correctly - and I am, aren't you the one who carried this little munchkin for nine months?” James replied.

“Okay, y’know what, hand _our_ demon baby over.”

James huffed indignantly, hoisting RJ higher on his chest.

“Actually I think I'll keep him.”

“Jamie.”

“Nope.”

“Jamie, baby.”

James turned his back to Toni.

“Winter Wonderland, c’mon.”

Unfortunately, RJ’s head was resting on James’ shoulder so he had a perfect view of his mother. His chubby arms reaching for Toni.

“See? He wants me, gimme my baby.”

RJ wiggled more insistently, James let out a deep long suffering sigh.

“Fine, you win, this time.”

“I win all the time, babe,” Toni corrected smugly, as RJ snuggled under her chin. She stroked down her son’s back soothingly.

“M’yeah of course,” James rolled his eyes before laying down beside them and cuddling them close.

“You’re going to end up with little lines and aching ribs in the morning if you keep laying that.”

“Shhhh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking around for so long babes


End file.
